Due to Popular demand, I'm posting our family rules.
They were developed several years ago, but some of them still apply. I even added a few new ones!
- We don't want the best of everything. We just want everything
- Even if you think the answer will be "no", ask just in case. If you don't ask, you don't get.
- If you can't open it with your teeth, try using a pair of scissors.
- The one who's standing lets the dog out.
a. If no one is standing, the one sitting closest to the door lets the dog out.
- A dog is more persistent than an alarm clock..
- Daddy can fix almost anything, but occasionally he brings an attitude to the job.
- Dogs and children are always underfoot.
- Parents have crazy ideas.
- Never tell your parents you're bored.
- If you're too full for desert you don't have to finish your dinner.
- Grownups always get their way.
- If you break something, cry. That way you won't get yelled at.
- If people are snoring poke them.
- If you hear the toilet running, wiggle the handle.
- If you're out of socks, take your laundry basket to the laundry room; otherwise you'll be out of socks tomorrow, too.
- Leave dirty pans to soak. Mom will wash them later.
- If the dog throws up, pretend you didn't notice.
- Don't kick your shoes on the roof of the house.
- If you're giving your mom a back rub you can stay up after 9:00 p.m.
- If you're brushing your mom's hair you can stay up as late as you want.
- If you beat Dad at HORSE, you lose.
- There must be a clear path from the door to your bed if you would like a good night kiss.
- If your temperature is over 101 degrees you don't have to practice the piano.
- For emergencies in the middle of the night, wake Dad up instead of Mom. He is less likely to yell at you.
- No matter what's for dinner, someone always hates it.
a. The above does not apply to pizza, unless you only have sausage and mushroom.
- You can eat out more often if you rarely order drinks and never get desserts.
- Any papers left on the bar for more than 24 hours might be deemed unimportant by the establishment.
- The third person gets a cold shower.
- A chicken in every pot and a tv in every room.
- Don't wear white if you're planning to eat spaghetti.
- If you are in a hurry, the car in front of you will have Wyoming license plates.
- If you don't want to buy a new car, don't go out"just to look."
- If the temperature is below 32 degrees Farenheit, parents can watch soccer games from the car.
- Cook all hamburgers outside on the barbeque. That way the smoke alarm in the house won't go off.
- If you snooze you lose .
- The person who pays for the coffee table can put his feet on it.
- It's a free country unless you're bothering someone else.
a. It's a dictatorship if you're bothering your parents.
- If you have to say "Hello" twice, hang up the phone.
- Don't brush your teeth with anti-itch cream.
Don't "Pull a Dad." This means always stay to the right of the median after making a left hand turn. (This does not apply if one is driving in South Africa.)